"Be the Change you wish to see in the world" -Gandhi "I will be a Hummingbird, I will do the best that I can." -Wangari Maathai "Where stereotypes begin with a grain of truth, cliches begin with a boulder" - George Watsky "And she's gonna learn, that this life will hit you - hard - in the face - wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach, but getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs, how much they like the taste of air." - Sarah Kay "Do not fear what has blown up. If you must, fear the unexploded." -Suheir Hammad

Treat other how the way you want to be treated.

When you're a kid the golden rule is,
"Treat others the way you want to be treated".

For me as a kid, I had trouble connecting to people, and really feeling accepted by anyone in my life. When presented to me, this golden rule seemed like the answer to my problem. To my understanding, all I had to do was make people feel accepted and they would accept me. However, as life continued, I put this rule to the test, and much to my surprise, it didn't work as planned. People in my life still continued to act towards me how they saw best suited themselves. Even if I would go out of my way to make someone feel welcome, I still felt out of place everywhere I went.

It was really hard for me to realize the concept of the rule, was that you SHOULD treat others how you want to be treated. Not because karma is instant, but because if you wouldn't like to be treated in a negative way, then why would someone else? You treat others positively, because it is the right thing to do, not because you could gain a reward in the end.

To this day, I have a constant inner struggle with myself. I feel unappreciated, unconnected, obnoxious, and I ultimately fear that I will never find someone who will always put me first in their life. I don't feel like I can connect to people on a level I would like to connect to them on. Not because I can't connect, but because I am too forward about it, and they are scared or intimidated by my aggressively friendly personality. I have trust issues, and I feel like people will use me for my eager willingness to serve, but then leave me once I have finished everything. I have a horrible self image, because I assume people put me on a back burner. I all around feel like a sucky person for 90% of the time. I even have a hard time writing this out on my own blog, because putting it on the internet makes me feel like I'm whining and people will be annoyed that I'm showing any sort of complaint.

And yet, because I have such an abundance of inner chaos, and because I've been burned in more ways than one, I continue to care for people in every way possible. Because the golden rule does not say "Treat other the way you have been treated in the past", however, when expanded, it clearly states, "Treat others they way you hope to be treated in the future".

So I may not feel like I have ever been unconditionally loved, but that doesn't mean I am incapable of that same emotion. It is because I understand the negative, that I am able to share the positive. And this outweighs any inner war I claim to have.


To ignore something on the basis that it won't effect you, is the definition of ignorance. Ignorance does not mean rude, or hateful. Ignorance means you are ignoring it.

Imagine the world is one giant lake. Every action causes a ripple. Sometimes the action is just a bubble floating to the top, and then it pops. The ripples are small and seem almost invisble by the time the reach out, but they are still moving, and the vibations cover the entire lake, as tiny particles move  until acted upon by an outside force. In contrast, sometimes a rock falls in the water. Depending on the size of the rock, the ripples are much larger, and stay visible, even after moving out far from where the action took place.

Our actions will always effect others, and likewise, others actions effect us. To ignore a cause based on the understanding that "It's not my problem" or "It doesn't concern me" is a choice from a mistaken outlook. You may not understand that maybe that cause involves a cause not related to your nationality, orientation, race, gender, or even species, but it will effect you, and everything around you.

How can you stand idely by while an injustice is happening, because it doesn't concern you? What makes you superior that you have put yourself above us. Or yet, what has pushed you down, so that you feel like the cause is bigger than you? Who has scared your voice into submission? They are your equal.

However someone has trained or educated you, they may have drawn the lines for you. They've divided you from "groups" in the world by drawing battles lines. Now while there are noticeable differences that the lines are traced over, it doesn't mean that there are different rules in each territory. Those are your brothers and sisters across the border. They see and observe with eyes. They hear and listen with ears. They eat and taste with a mouth. They feel with hands and a heart.

It is your job as a human being that when you see a ripple headed in the wrong direction you need to act upon it.

This isn't a call to action. This message has been told before generations before me, and generations to come. This is a reminder, that while it may seem easier to stay around those like you, because they look the same, or they have the same social status as you, it will be easier to laugh, cry, and relate with those who have the same heart as you.

*Inspired by "A Wake" by Macklemore

My dream last night

I just needed to write this somewhere.
I had a dream that every single person I knew, that was my age, started taking this class. I didn't want to take the class because I knew what they were talking about in there. It was taught by friend's friend. This friend of a friend was supposedly really hot. EVERYONE loved him. I didn't see it. I just thought he was cool to kick it with. Not everyone started out taking this class though. It started out slow, but became very popular. The layout of this dream was in my dorm. Just two doors down from my room was the classroom. That's not the weird part. Suddenly everyone got mad. Their eyes started glowing red and they were after me. They wanted to drag me by my hair into this classroom. I don't know what would've happened had they gotten ahold of me, but what I did know was that the professor was terrified, and I did everything in my power to get these (no zombie-like) acquaintances away from me. I smashed doors on their hands as they tried to claw at me. I zipped past their grabby little hands. Eventually I couldn't take it, and I slipped through the fire exit (or where it is in real life. In the dream it was just a door). It took me to this court yard that was fenced in. I ran with legitimately all I had left. I saw a van in the parking lot and ran up to her. She wouldn't answer my yells, and seemed to speak a foreign language. Finally I held up my fingers for "9-1-1". I spoke spanish to her (and I was way better in my dream than in person). She obliged unwillingly, but still called and reported my need for them. I ran outside the fence and into this church. Someone was in there waiting for me. I don't know who they are, or how they knew I was there, but I knew they'd be waiting for me. Like a safety refuge. The zombie-like people started popping up outside fo the church, but they no longer were zombies. In fact they had normal eyes again, and weren't after my flesh, but they did try to get me to go back to the classroom. But it was more persuasion than anything. They first tried to scare me into going back, but then they tried to play good cop. One guy in particular was just fighting. Finally the cops showed up. All the zombies played cool, but I still reported my experience. The professor ended up gone, and the cops believed me but couldn't do anything. Everyone went back to normal.

The weirdest part is that I knew that this had happened before the entire time. I knew what to expect. I wasn't confused by this outbreak, I was prepared, and I kept getting flashbacks of the last time this happened, but I never dreamt about it before. I wasn't scared of what was happening and the impossibility of it all. I was scared of them catching me because I knew what they would do. At least I did in the dream. I still don't know what was in that room. The classroom I knew everything about.