"Be the Change you wish to see in the world" -Gandhi "I will be a Hummingbird, I will do the best that I can." -Wangari Maathai "Where stereotypes begin with a grain of truth, cliches begin with a boulder" - George Watsky "And she's gonna learn, that this life will hit you - hard - in the face - wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach, but getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs, how much they like the taste of air." - Sarah Kay "Do not fear what has blown up. If you must, fear the unexploded." -Suheir Hammad


When you think of prejudice, you may usually think of someone being judged because of their race.
But prejudice is the acting of judging someone based on a characteristic of looks or background.
i.e. Age, Gender, Race, Religion, Sexuality

What purpose is there in judging though?
Because a person is young, they're obviously too immature to handle a situation, or to understand what's going on, so let's ignore their input, and laugh off their comments? Or they're old, and don't like to be bothered, so just leave them alone?

Because a person is a women, she's obviously not strong enough to do manual labor? Or a man is too tough to show how he actually feels?

Because a person is Mexican, they obviously are illegal and only here to mooch of the government, and steal our jobs? Or they're Black, so they are in a gang, and are probably gonna rob us. Or they're white, so they have a good life, with lots of money, and a perfect family?

Because a person is Muslim, they're obviously a terrorist working for Osama Bin Laden? Or they're Jewish, so they are cheap, and deserve little respect? OR they don't believe the same thing as you, so their going to hell?

Because a person is homosexual they are either overly flamboyant, or super manly depending on if they're a guy or girl?

Why would you judge someone so harshly based on a first impression, that probably didn't include talking? Judging someone at a glance is not right. Judging someone after a sentence is not right. Judging someone after a day is not right. Judging someone after a week is not right. Judging someone after a month is not right. Judging someone after a year is not right. Judging someone ever is not right. You have not walked even a mile in someone else's shoes, so how dare you criticize how they should be living? Try showing compassion and sympathy for those around you. Next time you start to lean towards a rude, and judgmental side, instead of thinking what they might want, or what they might do, and assume their actions for them, ask. Communicate with them. Only they know what they truly want, and if you'll be able to help them. And even if they judge you in return to your questions, rest assured that you've helped stop the global judging. Even if by one small effort, you helped.

"I will be a hummingbird. I will do the best I can." -Wangari Maathai

Don't wish for a different past.

In your life, you may have made many mistakes. You have regrets and remorse, that you wish you'd never had. But if you let yourself dwell on the small mistakes, or pains, that you wished never happened, you'll never experience the joyful outcomes that they bring. Even if those things seem painful, and you can not see any sort of joyous consequence, those things have changed you, strengthened you, and made you to be a better person. So why would you wish away the bad, when it subliminally grants you the good? You need the bad, to compare to the good. To make you cherish the good times, and feel grateful.

Oh my.

"I view a relationship as the ultimate bestfriendship." -Megan Iselin

And she's right. That's what a relationship is about.
Would you hide something from your best friend?
Would you try to impress your best friend?
Would you lie to your best friend?
Would you spend every waking moment with your best friend, or also with other friends?
Would you drop your life for your best friend, or invite them to be a apart of yours?

I'm sorry.

I publicly humiliated a person I know on the last blog that I wrote with a few choice words. I should have revised and edited my thoughts before displaying them for the world to see. I've have learned from this, and hope that she, along with her family can forgive me. I was extremely hurt by things that had happened between herself and I, and handled them in a way that was not smart. I apologize, and I am extremely embarrassed by the behavior I displayed.

In the end...

Fear: be afraid or feel anxious or apprehensive about a possible or probable situation or event;

Everyone has a secret fear of something, whether it be rational or not. Sometimes, there is cause for your fear, but commonly enough, your fear is irrational. You may have a fear of being left by someone you really trusted. You fear it so much, you don't put trust into anyone, and you keep people shut off. But eventually people will get tired of pushing into a brick wall, and will leave you. A self-fulfilling prophecy.
While fear can be an amazing motivator, being swallowed whole by your fear can cause restrictions in your life, and can often times lead you directly to your fear. But if you can understand you fear, and accept it, while trying to work on it, the chances of a more successful life are far greater.

Because in the end, "that which does not kill us, makes us stronger" -Friedrich Nietzsche

The Big Green Monster!

Jealousy has often be alluded to as the green monster, but is it really a monster, or something we all long for from others. When your significant other gets jealousy, don't you get a little happy inside. Just from knowing that they care enough. But it is an unending battle within you when you're jealous and you cannot show it. You don't want the person you're jealous of, to know they're hurting you. That they are winning. But you want to be able to express your jealousy to someone. Jealousy in this sense could be called the green luxury. Something you admire when somebody else has, but you yourself never appreciate when it's yours. How picky we are as humans.


Let's all look at the stereotypical relationship of the dating world from a girl's perspective. Guy hits on Girl and get's Girl's number. Guy asks Girl on a date. Date goes well, and another date is set. Within a few weeks Guy and Girl are dating. After a set period of months Guy breaks up with Girl for problems that began showing in the relationship awhile back. Girl hates men, Guy gets re-tagged as a scumbag. Girl's friends say "Told you so!" Girl goes through this situation for the rest of her life until she finds the one, and (hopefully) he's different.

Now let's look at the middle part. "Girl goes through this situation for the rest of her life..." Nice Guy then always ask, "Why do girls always go for losers. They act like they can get any girl, then they treat the girl's like crap, and the girl's are hurt. BUT THEY KEEP GOING BACK!" This situation is obviously upsetting to the "nice guys", but what are they doing about it? Complaining? Have you ever heard of complaining getting you anywhere in life? (Don't be smart about that question) If you don't want the girl's to go for the losers, (and trust me they want the nice guys) then put yourself out there, because I guarantee you, if Girl had to choose between Guy and Nice Guy, she'd choose Nice Guy every time. But only if she knew he felt the same way.

Now girl's, keep in mind, a guy may act like the rebellious, un-caring loser, but he may actually be a nice guy putting on an act to impress you because he thinks that's what you like. Make sure you two are completely honest with each other. If he acts like a loser, then make it clear that's not what you want. Tell him what you want, and if he is still a loser, then that's his true personality, but don't jump the gun and assume that he's just a Guy and not a really a Nice Guy, because of how he acts at first.


Most of us have to gift of hearing. To take sounds from the outside have them processed through our ears and into our brains in a fraction of a second to a familiar sound. But have you ever actually listened. When you hear rain, do you listen to how heavy the raindrops falling are, where the condensation is coming from or going to, the cries of the people who need the rain more than you? When you hear a gunshot, do you listen to the family crying for their loss, or the other family of the shooter crying for theirs? When you hear a person talk, do you listen to the deeper meanings behind it, to their troubles, their joys, or their confusions? If we all listened instead of heard, imagine the wave of humbleness that would come over the human race. The next sound made, try actually listening to it. As I hit my keys, I here the years of designing, digging for metal, careful placement, and time spent on the technology underneath my fingertips. The next person who talks to you, really listen to what's going on.


How do you deal with anger, when it's towards someone you do not want to hate. The disappointment becomes small burning inside your chest, but this burning should not be underestimated. The small burning is the start of a fire. A fire of lividness is one that should be defused immediately. But how do you deal with this small snake awakening inside you. 3 serpents tangling around each other. All three named revenge, deception, and disappointment. You want to express how hurt you are, by sending it back in larger portions. Especially to the ones you love. You give them chances, over and over again, wanting to trust them. Wanting the best. But how do you handle the knowledge that it won't change? Especially when it's because the other person refuses to change. How do you change the unchangeable? Change yourself? That seems unfair. Why should you change for you, when you're not the problem? Do you change their surroundings? But then they are not happy. You just want them to change on their own. You want the unobtainable. And so to answer my previous question, you simply leave them. Let them change on their own. Don't force your wants, but don't put yourself through it. Simply leave them be. Maybe that's what they wanted all along.

A quote from a friend.

"In order to survive we cling to all that we belive in, and label that our reality. But as we all know, knowledge and understanding are both ambiguous. Thus making reality only an illusion."
That is all. I just wanted to share my friend's insight on the world. Something that I believe in. I can't really add on to it. Enjoy.

Finally someone put my thoughts into words

"Maybe I've been in love with what I thought a person was in my head, that image I made them out to be, but not actually with how that person actually was in real life. Love is complicated and such an abstract thought."

Finally! Someone was taken what I believe to be true, and put it into the words I couldn't find. Let me finally put it out there. My view on love. Every guy, and every girl, has the perfect person pictured in their head. But this person only exists inside the walls of their mind. And nobody stands a chance against these figments. But every once and awhile, someone is lucky enough to find the closest thing to their figment. And this person shows them attributes that they start to enjoy more than their figment's. But the sad thing, a person isn't perfect, and also has attributes that are bad. And that's where things turn ugly. Mature people understand that there's give and take in the world. That you're not going to find your figment, but you will find some pretty amazing people. Immature people don't take this into account, and "fall in love" until the ugly comes out, and then it's on to the next one. Because as you get older, that figment becomes faded and adaptable, but when you're young that figment is fresh and stubborn.

**Quote from Megan Rochelle Iselin**


"Albert Einstein Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

I was once told a story about actions, and their relations to sticks. Think of every action you make as the end of one stick. By picking up the end of a stick, you also pick up the other end, or the consequence. Not all consequences are bad. They're just the following event. The effect to your cause. But you can't pick up the top of one stick, and get the end of another. You will always receive the same effect for the same cause.
But people, me included, tend to believe that this will change. But we will always be let down by the fact that this is not the case. We will drive ourselves insane expecting different results. This is when we realize how trusting and forgiving we are. But we need to change that, or we're only hurting ourselves.
Don't expect the worst of people right off the bat, but don't keep forgiving someone if they've continually let you down. Don't be rude about it either, but just know that they're not the most trustworthy of people. Be kind to others, but not so kind that you start to hurt yourself. "...you can't better anybody else unless you're where you wanna be."

*disclaimer* People may think this is about one person in particular, but rest assured, that even if one person threw me off the edge and made me want to blog, doesn't mean they're the only one. I can make a list if they want.

My view on time

You know those people who spend too much Time in the past. The dwell on a mistake they made, or on the last good feeling they had, pretending that it's the last event in which they could ever be happy. It doesn't make sense. Time is rushing past you, and they're stuck dwelling. They're not the funnest people to be around, and occasionally can be the annoying people at the party, that can't stop talking about the past.
Or what about the people who want to grow up so bad that they don't sit and see the good memories they're missing out on. The same people who focus only on college, then career, then family, and don't see the Time of the moment. And you can't get them to calm down for two seconds, because they're so wrapped up in something they believe to be certain, but in reality isn't.

Because let's face it, Time's best friends are Spontaneity and Patience. Time tests how long you can wait for something, and also challenges you with trials thrown in your face. But if you're so focused on Time that is non-existent yet, then how can you be prepared for Time's trial. People who are in the past can't handle the trial because they're still dwelling on the last problem, making this new problem a bigger deal then it already is. People who are running for the future, aren't prepared, because they've already passed any problems in their mind. Everything is childish, because they're more mature than anyone, because they're "tasted the future and know how to act". But people who forgive and forget the past, and aren't in any hurry, can take on any trial, because they don't have anything else they're worrying themselves with. Spontaneity is they're best friend as well.

Time is the most precious substance in the world. More valuable than diamonds, oil, or even the fictional unobtanium. Once it's been used, you may never get it back. Choose carefully how you use Time. People see Time as different types of resources.
Inexhaustible: Because Time is always going. It will never stop going.
Reusable: Because you can always remember memories at the least, if not remake events of Time
Non-reusable: Time can not be recreated. No matter how hard you try.

Time is very generous and very selfish. It gives itself to everyone in the world. Sometimes it gives more to some than others. It tricks the mind into thinking that it speeds up and slows down. How you use Time is up to you in the end, but keep in mind how precious it is. Use the amount of Time you're given wisely, because no one knows how much Time is willing to give itself to you. Spend Time on things you enjoy, and in the trials that Time throws at you, make sure you handle well, and with actions that won't waste Time later.

"Cause times change and there's no one to blame
Even when the day is leavin
Will you rise like a lion in the morning sun
Or will you just lay there bleeding"

from a friend's status

"The Wind is the Moon's Imagination. Wandering, it seeps through cracks, ripples the grass, explores the unknown. My Love is my Soul's imagination. How do I love you? Imagine."-Saul

Only kind of love I believe in. This is not meant to be said when appropriate, in fact the most inappropriate of times would be best. It's unprovoked. It's not expected. It's true. Unlike the fake love that is infecting the world today.

Let me explain me view on love. Do I think it has ever been possible to fall in love within a week? Yes. Do I think it's possible nowadays? No. Love has been commercialized. Like sex. You can buy sex, and in essence, you can buy love, putting a value on it, making it another thing people can make a profit on. Love is then able to be commercialized, and shown into drastic forms, and people will buy it. But this product is something everybody wants. People will try and emulate it. And what happens when people try to make something better, that was already perfect? It declines because people would rather have the cheap version that requires no effort, then work hard for something that will bring endless joy.

So do I believe in love? Yes. Do I believe that's it's easy to get, and that it's available to lazy teenagers, and people with no time to put into it? No.

For Granted:

Why do people take things for granted nowadays? Technology, Love, Our government.

I want you to examine your house. Do you have a computer? A phone? A stove? A fridge? A TV? A car? A light switch? What would your life be without it? You don't know. You're too worried about what happened last night on So You Think You Can Dance. But only a short while ago, none of this stuff was here. Did you thank the people responsible, even in the least bit by respecting the things they put their blood sweat and tears into? No? Didn't think so. Does Russia or Pakistan have things like this? No? Didn't think so.

Are you in a relationship? Do you cherish the relationship you're in? Are you married? Are you committed like you said you were when you took your vow? Or is marriage equivalent to changing your Facebook relationship status to, "in a relationship"? Divorce rates are sky high right now, but so are marriage rates. Does that make sense? No? Didn't think so. Do they get married and divorced in Kenya or India? No? Didn't think so...

Are you a fan of Obama? Is it because he's black? Is it because he made one decision you disagreed with? Is it because you believe the Global Enquirer? Have you ever agreed with a president, or any other form of government, including the cop who gave you a ticket (which is the same cop that took the serial rapist off the street.)? No? Didn't think so. Do they get a say in the government in North Korea or Cuba? No? Didn't think so.

If you haven't caught on by now, we are a spoiled spoiled country. I've met few and far who don't fit under any of these three categories. Most fit under at least one, if not two. But it's mainly in this country. You wonder why the world makes fun of us. America has it's amazing ups. Being it's technology is updated, it's social rules are manageable, and we have a say in our government. But there are ways for all of this to work to everyone's benefit. When will you learn taking the short cut to fit in with society is hurting you, and the stereotype of your country?

It's been too long.

It's almost the anniversary of my blog! Get excited:)

I would just like to point out, that just because you hear something, does not mean it's right. If you hear someone is 5 months pregnant, let's try asking said pregnant lady before spreading it more. If you heard someone "hit it and quit it", let's try listening to the whole story before threatening the "hitter and quitter". And is it even your business to begin with? No. So why do you care? I don't honestly know. Because you like to be in the loop? That's a stupid reason. So let me summarize so far, you don't know the whole story, but you're spreading it anyway and threatening people anyway, but it's not even your business? Instead of thriving off of other people's drama and rumors, you should try having a life of your own. (Please don't confuse any of this with helping people with problems. They've asked you to be apart of it. When you spread rumors, they didn't ask for that.)
So the metaphor of my point: Being involved with rumors and gossip, is like going to a birthday party you were not invited to, and singing happy birthday to the wrong person. You don't have a clue what you're doing, but you wanna be cool so you keep trying.
Lesson to my point made: Stop spreading stuff when you don't know the whole story, or that you just think you're cool by making up. You sound like a person singing happy birthday to the the wrong kid.


I figured it out. I thought love wasn't real...it is. It's a prank a bunch of people got together and pulled on the world. Slowly more and more people are becoming aware of the prank...and we who know continue to prank the unsuspecting young ones. Oh how Innocent..... So I spilled the beans. My lawyers are waiting for your lawsuit. But I'm tired of fairytale endings being misunderstood for reality....

Good time "Counting Crows"

Matt Mendoza made his status "I just want to have a good time//Just like everybody eles.........." Yes we know it's misspelled but you get the gist. So then I read the song lyrics. I like this song. (Mainly cause they mention Texas). I wanted to write this amazing blog about guys. Then about what you think a Good Time is. But I can't get it to come out. I can't think right now. Spontaneity is my best friend, but sometimes it stabs me in the back. Hopefully I'll be able to write soon before San Antonio this weekend. Listen to the song.------------>>> Tell me later what you think. If you got anything from it. If you have another song that has inspired you tell me. Have your own moments.

Unwanted Adaptation

Who here thinks they can escape change? Well you're wrong, because time erodes your life away, and with it you are no longer the same person. So change is inevitable of course. But how come we don't always see it that way? If we have a friend who has changed, we blame them for changing, not for their actions, their words, or their attitudes. With change you still have choice, so these things seem to be the right ones to blame, not the inevitable change. So when your best friend starts wearing something different, don't blame them for changing. They need change to survive. Adapting is probably a better word. Have you ever been on the other side of the glass? You've changed and people blame you for it? They shouldn't blame your change. You needed it to survive either socially or even physically. Yet you get called a poser? Why is that? In my personal opinion it's not right. You're not trying to pose as someone else. Even trying to pose as someone else is being who you are, because they're not posing. Everyone is different. So people stop saying they're fake. Their decisions may be unwanted. Their attitudes may be unnecessary. Their actions may be unacceptable. But there's no one else to blame other than the person themselves, and their choices. They choice to do that. Them changing may be an effect. But don't say, "Oh my gosh, she's/he's such a poser!" Because they're not. They're adapting. Whether or not you like it. And guess what, you have no control over them. They have every right to do as they please. Their mission in life should not be to please you. But to please themselves. So why call them fake or a poser? Why even worry about what they do. Until they're not happy don't worry if they change. If you lose a friend. do what they did. Adapt and find a new friend. It's actually very simple. They did it. Why can't you?

P.S. 50th blog!


"Remember When Getting High Meant Swinging On The Playground? When Protection Meant Wearing A Helmet?When The Worst Things You Could Get From Boys Were Cooties? Dad’s Shoulders Were The Highest Place On Earth And Your Worst Enemies Were Your Siblings.Wearing A Skirt Didn’t Make You A Slut.The Only Things That Hurt You Were Skinned Knees. And Goodbyes Only Meant Until Tomorrow? And All We Wanted To Do..Was Grow Up"

I got that from my friend's Facebook Status. It's true isn't it? What happened to our little kid worlds? Why did we have to, nor even want to, give them up...for this? For an occasional good moment? For an occasional day or two that we feel infinite? And the rest of the days full of drama, full of wrongs needed to be righted, full of heartbreaks. Why did we trade it in? Adults did a good job of acting apparently, or maybe kids are just optimists and look at only the good things in life. Must be ADD not to notice the bad stuff. Either way we were blindsided. Now they "freedoms" we thought we'd have are followed up by worse consequences.
Example: I get to drive! And pay for insurance, gas, and any check ups. I get to chauffeur friends around. You could be killed at any second. Yea I wanted to grow up for this.
Example: I can buy whatever I want! And then get a job to pay for it, if I can get a job nowadays, or I might just live on the streets because I spent all my money.
Example: I can eat ice cream every day for breakfast! And have health problems for the rest of my life..

I'm not saying we should tell little kids this, but I am saying that I'm jealous... oh dear am I jealous....


1.a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3.sexual passion or desire.
4.a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5.(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
6.a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
7.sexual intercourse; copulation.
8.(initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.
9.affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.
10.strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.
11.the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.
12.the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
13.Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.
14.a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.
–verb (used with object)
15.to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.
16.to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).
17.to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.
18.to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.
19.to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.
20.to have sexual intercourse with.
–verb (used without object)
21.to have love or affection for another person; be in love.
—Verb phrase
22.love up, to hug and cuddle: She loves him up every chance she gets.
23.for love,
a.out of affection or liking; for pleasure.
b.without compensation; gratuitously: He took care of the poor for love.
24.for the love of, in consideration of; for the sake of: For the love of mercy, stop that noise.
25.in love, infused with or feeling deep affection or passion: a youth always in love.
26.in love with, feeling deep affection or passion for (a person, idea, occupation, etc.); enamored of: in love with the girl next door; in love with one's work.
27.make love,
a.to embrace and kiss as lovers.
b.to engage in sexual activity.
28.no love lost, dislike; animosity: There was no love lost between the two brothers.
bef. 900; (n.) ME; OE lufu, c. OFris luve, OHG luba, Goth lubō; (v.) ME lov(i)en, OE lufian; c. OFris luvia, OHG lubōn to love, L lubēre (later libēre) to be pleasing; akin to lief
—Related forms
outlove, verb (used with object),-loved, -lov·ing.
o·ver·love, verb,-loved, -lov·ing.
1. tenderness, fondness, predilection, warmth, passion, adoration. 1, 2. Love, affection, devotion all mean a deep and enduring emotional regard, usually for another person. Love may apply to various kinds of regard: the charity of the Creator, reverent adoration toward God or toward a person, the relation of parent and child, the regard of friends for each other, romantic feelings for another person, etc. Affection is a fondness for others that is enduring and tender, but calm. Devotion is an intense love and steadfast, enduring loyalty to a person; it may also imply consecration to a cause. 2. liking, inclination, regard, friendliness. 15. like. 16. adore, adulate, worship.
1, 2. hatred, dislike. 15, 16. detest, hate.
"Love." Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. 06 Mar. 2010.

How many of you think about this when you tell someone you love them? How do you love them? Do you love there personality, their physical features, their laugh, their family, their connections, what they bring to the table. Do you give great thought to this when you tell it? Do you say it because the other person did, and you didn't know how to respond back, so you've been lying to them this whole time. Do you love them as a friend? Would you die for them? Do you accept them through thick and thin? Do you give the word the kinda of attention it deserves? Did you even read all of the definitions? (secret that wasn't all of them) So if you can't give the definition of love that attention it needs, then can you give the actual feeling or action attention? Are you sure the love will last? Is it even love? Or is it Teenage love?

Teenage Love
It's staying up late for eachother and barely staying awake in class the next day. It's passing each other between classes and stopping to say Hi but end up running to class right before the bel rings. It's going to the mall wandering around hand in hand with a silence that's comfortable. It's watching a movie in the theaters wit his arm slowly creeping onto your shoulder & you resting your head in his arms. It's walking around at night for no reason at all; his chest her head looking at the stars. It's uncertainty of how long it will last, a risk you're both willing to take, even if it means you'll have a broken heart. It's not yet true love, not like, nor lust, nor infatuation, It's teenage love. Here to play with our hearts & never go away
"Hey babe."
"Hi..." *blush*
*stand around idly for three minutes*
"SHIT THE BELL." *quick kiss. walk away blushing*
As you walk away and think... I love You.
This is teenage love...

That's what most of you have. You think it's love, because you have this new feeling in you, but it really is just the fact that someone likes you instead of your mother. So think next time. Do yuo really love that special someone, or is it just a new thing you love the idea of?

the grand scheme of things

I hate that as human beings, we mess up. Perfection of course isn't an option, so messing up will become apart of everyday life. But if perfection wasn't set so high, when we messed up the fall would not hurt as much. But how would learning occur? We could take in what we are taught, but that requires trust. And as human beings we have shot trust in the foot with selfishness. Therefore we are too selfish to be perfect. Selflessness may be the trick, but are we willing to try? If we were willing to try, then why haven't we? We're too busy thinking of ourselves. You see in the grand scheme of things, a better world starts within yourself. You can't rely on others to get the job done for you, because they just might be relying on you.

If there is light in the soul,
There will be beauty in the person.
If there is beauty in the person,
There will be harmony in the house.
If there is harmony in the house,
There will be order in the nation.
If there is order in the nation,
There will be peace in the world.
--Chinese Proverb

Dead, like the tree in my front yard.

So definitely the title of this was for my friend Chris (sorry it's not an emo poem), but today I realized something. They're comes a moment of realization where the person you though you knew from when you were a kid has changed. They once loved talking to you. They once loved being next to you. They cared for you. They loved the simple things that involved you.
But now you are growing more mature, and this person is growing as well. And differences in opinions clash. The bonds begin to tear and awkward silences begin to seep in.
The realization is a painful moment. One where you realize that someone you deeply care for, and yourself, have grown apart and it's too late to change it. You've made new friends, and they've made new friends. It's as if the relationship died. And whoever it was that was once always there for you, has now been replaced by a zombie of the total opposite.
It's a sad day no doubt. But, one thing you must remember, is the memories.

How do you know?

Is anything real?
How do you know?
How do you know you're not dreaming?
How do you know, that everything has happened, instead of everything being a lie?
Is life a dream or a nightmare?
How do you know?

"If someone told you the sun wouldn't come up tomorrow, you would probably think of that person as crazy. Of course the sun will come up -- but do you really know that? Or is it just your opinion?

the French philosopher René Descartes suggested that for all we know, we are always dreaming. An evil demon might be controlling your mind so that while you think you are awake, reading these words right now, you are actually asleep. The world you think is out there could be part of your dream.

He did come up with one certainty. No matter what the demon does, it cannot fool you about the fact that you are a thinking being. In other words, the fact that you think means that you exist. As Descartes famously put it, Cogito ergo sum (I think, therefore I am). And since your own existence is a certainty, your awareness of it counts as knowledge."

Do you believe?

MY source

Rich vs. Poor

The song Dear Mr. President by P!ink inspired this blog:
I want to know why athletes/actors/musicians/politicians get paid more than average Joe who grows the very food you need to live. I want to know why it's not just a difference of thousands, but of MILLIONS. Even if we don't like said "famous person"by going to see their movies, or listening to their songs, or going to their games, just to say you've seen it is adding to their excessive amount of money.
Why do they deserve it? What have they done to better mankind on a day to day scale? Do they donate more than 75% of their paycheck to charity, or do they buy 3 cars and a hot tub to match the curtains? Do they donate their spare time to the local boys and girls club of america to help teach the youth their skills, EVERYDAY?
There are people who do that. But why don't they get the millions? Why don't they get the recognition? Why don't they get the paparazzi? Why don't they get the spots on The Tonight Show? Why can't the next People magazine headline be titled, top 10 most helpful men of 2010?
Why do we let celebrities run our lives? Why do they come up in conversation? Why are they plastered onto the TV for our kids to see? Do we want our kids to say one day
"I want to be like Kim Kardashian! She's so pretty and has a big butt! Plus look at Reggie and all the nice things she has!"
Or do you want your kid to say
"I wish I could be Donna Goodjob, she volunteered for 3 hours at our school today serving food because we're running low on money and can't afford to hire more lunch ladies. They day before she went down to the homeless shelter and donated all of her good clothes and kept her old ones. She's so nice, and look at the peace she has in her eyes. It's like she could die happy knowing she did something good."
I honestly want to be like Donna Goodjob. She sounds like a happy, taken care of, not needy, person. She doesn't need a lot to be happy, just the smile and thanks she gets from the people she helps, if that. She just feels good knowing she did something.
But instead we have corrupt politicians, drunk actors, high musicians, and abusive athletes. And they make the big bucks? It doesn't make sense to me...

My internet connection!

I'm extremely sorry about me not being on for awhile. Jesper from AT&T fixed my internet though. (Yay Jesper!) I think that's his name. My phone connection was bad. Either way he's jesper to me. So it's been driving me crazy. I always want to blog, but my internet is bad... Now it's fixed...YAY! I love the song I want you too by Weezer. Go listen to it. It kinda just perks up my feelings.
I've been feeling kind of depressed lately. Everyone seems to kind of be slipping away. Every feel like that? I can't hold on to them. But I'm looking forward to graduation, then I can go out and start over. Of course I'll still have my past, but the friends I have, maybe it's just me, but I'm, starting to get the feeling that I'm just annoying them. Which is fine, but I'd rather be told. I'll back off. But in the end, it's not your friends who make you, it's not your family even. You make you. Others shouldn't affect who you are. Which I know, everyone is affected by everyone. I'm somewhat of a hypocrite saying this. But I'm trying to work on it. It's something I told myself.
*ALERT I'm getting personal here* I tend to rely on people on how to act. Which is how social skills are acquired. I get that. But there's a certain point when you need to make it your own. When you need to stop relying on others actions to depict what you should do. I do it ALOT. Not like a creepy stalker, but I watch what people do, pick up on their actions, on how to act. And then I turn around and say be yourself?! Yea, as a matter a fact, almost every teenager in AMERICA does that. But we'll never admit it. Because "so-and-so" doens't admit it. Well this is where I am going to be different. I'm going to admit, I don't always know how to act. How to be "cool". How to say something "cool". I wing it. Along with everyone else. Some people are just better. But we do need to show something about ourselves. Some of us have sports that we're good at. Some have music and art. Some have academic skills. Some know how to cook meth.
(I'm not condoning but it's a skill some have). But when it comes to things like, flirting, talking, expressing, eating, walking, anything "normal" a human does. We, or at least I, see what others do before we do it. That's bad. I need to be myself.
Now there's of course a difference between actually admiring something and doing it, and just trying to fit in somewhere on the high school food chain. Like in one fo my earlier, more angry blogs titled why? , I wrote about social class rules, and who decided them, and why do we follow them. I still agree with this, but now I want to know, why did we give up something as precious as our individuality to be "a normal teenager" or basically a drone.
To sum up this somewhat confusing blog, that went kind of on a rabbit trail let me say this:

The Final Analysis

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
...Forgive them anyway!

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
...Be kind anyway!

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
...Succeed anyway!

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
...Be honest and frank anyway!

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
...Build anyway!

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
...Be happy anyway!

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
...Do good anyway!

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
...Give the world the best you've got anyway!

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

-Mother Teresa

Mystery Google

If you found this website on mystery google your mission is accomplished. WOOHOO!

If you already know me and are just reading my blog because you think I'm awesome Mystery google is a website where you type in a misson and a misson is granted to you.
try it!
and happy new year to all!

Note to missioners: you should totally read my other blogs!

New Blog!

I'm so excited! Of course I will be continuing this blog but my new blog will be about my year of making a difference. Of course you can read more about it on my blog. Click the following link to get there. 52ways. So of course right now I'm hoping that everyone is having an amazing year! This is the only time of year you get a doever per say. So stick to those resolutions. My resolution is to eat healthier and to not drink soda. Tehe! And of course follow my 52 ways. Not alot to say right now. Keep checking back, and don't forget to read my new blog:)