I was not fine before. I had thoughts happy people don't have. I covered it up though. I did things i shouldn't. To help the pain. Then I was happy again. People couldn't tell the difference but I was genuinely happy this time. Now not so much again. I'm going back to what was. I don't like the being happy seen anymore. My old scene, much more cozy. I'm accepted, I don't feel weird. Less to do. Stuff inside doesn't seem so real. How I feel is how I feel. Oh how I wish people understood. I think i'm getting off now. To sleep. That seems nice. To not feel. Numbness.......nice.