An unknown revolution
I feel a change. A good change. I don't think bad thoughts really. (Bad= negative). I've been very positive. All conflicts have been minor, or at least I've made them minor. I don't feel the need to fit in with anyone really. I have a family (outside of my actual family of course) that I can rely on, and call true friends. For once I can be myself around them. It took me 17 years and 11 1/2 years of my public school career, but I found it. And that's kind of the bitter sweet part. I found people I can call true friends, but only for another semester. It's a bitter sweet feeling, but for the amount of pure joy that I m obtaining now, it might be worth it.
Not really my normal philosophical blog, but I felt the need to put it out there that I finally feel accepted, confident, and real. I didn't think it would be possible, but if it can happen in high school, maybe there's not a lot to be scared of next year. If I can go from being very self conscience (enough that I only wear a sweatshirt to school all the time) to a point where I will actually wear a skirt to school, I'm ok with that. Or accepted enough that I don't have to try to fit in, but I try to just make sure people are having a fun time because I care, I'm ok with that. Or real enough to know that I can be myself 24/7 I'm ok with that. And this may not last long, and next semester it may take a little to get back, but I know that it's possible now. It's obtainable. I'm not lost. This new feeling I have that snuck up on me, is the only sniper attack I'm ok with.
Written by Courtney Eberhard