"Be the Change you wish to see in the world" -Gandhi "I will be a Hummingbird, I will do the best that I can." -Wangari Maathai "Where stereotypes begin with a grain of truth, cliches begin with a boulder" - George Watsky "And she's gonna learn, that this life will hit you - hard - in the face - wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach, but getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs, how much they like the taste of air." - Sarah Kay "Do not fear what has blown up. If you must, fear the unexploded." -Suheir Hammad

Last night.

No not last night as in last night was amazing. Last night as this is the last night at my mom's. I honestly don't know what to think. Being here has changed me. I think for the better. Hopefully others will as well. I'm tired of drama. I'm tired of problems. Even if they're my own. So I'm not getting involved in ANYTHING. If it includes me I will jump right out of it. There's a new me. Maren wanted me to find a new style. I pick 70's. It's cute. They have that at forver 21 and I feel like I should be in that 70's show. Well not that extreme. More like I wish I was. As for friends. I think I hurt a friend bad. And I feel bad, but I apologized so it should be over with. Hopefully. Oh well. I can't do anything anymore. Anyhoo. So for once in my life I don't really LIKE someone. I think some guys are sweet and some are cute. And of course the occasional drop dead gorgeous ones. But I'm tired of boys. I liked one. Haven't talked to him in forever though cause he's out of the country. Plus idk if my friend still likes him and if so I will be the first to back off. Then this other kid, but he's too innocent. Like someone who bites off more than he can chew.....all the time. He can't talk the talk or walk the walk. But thinks he can. You know what I mean. Then this other kid. Totally funny, sweet, good singer, cute. Good right? well I'm not gonna get my hopes up and think "oh my gosh he's perfect" because he's probably not even interested. They never are. Another reason not to try. But according to some very RUDE ladies at my mom's church I shouldn't even be thinking about dating. Idk why they think that. Traumatizing childhood idk, but that's not me. It's not like I'm gonna do something I shouldn't on a date. But apparently they're less trustworthy than my own parents. Anyhoo. I think the just want me to go lesbian and hang out with them 24/7. Idk this month has been....interesting. I feel like a different person. More Hyde like. (ok to clear things up I watched That 70's show ALL month) I guess I have to go to bed b/c my mom is making me wake up and go to church with her in the morning. Sorry mary. (she was gonna take me) ugh......night?