"Be the Change you wish to see in the world" -Gandhi "I will be a Hummingbird, I will do the best that I can." -Wangari Maathai "Where stereotypes begin with a grain of truth, cliches begin with a boulder" - George Watsky "And she's gonna learn, that this life will hit you - hard - in the face - wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach, but getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs, how much they like the taste of air." - Sarah Kay "Do not fear what has blown up. If you must, fear the unexploded." -Suheir Hammad

advice we can't take

Everyone gives advice. Either when asked for it or when they think it's time for them to step in. I am guilty of it myself. I give alot of advice to people. Especially when it comes to the opposite sex, because people are too lost in a fairytale to take a step back into reality and look around. I try not to be like that. I try to say, "Hey you know what? I'm in high school I don't need this drama." But lately I have kind of liked this guy. Not alot no about it because what usually happens is I am in denial about for some time. Then when I finally realize it it's too late because he has moved on. Happened again. And I'm am honestly cool with it. I just keep kicking myself because I let it happen again. What's worse? We were really good friends and now he's kind of drifting away. This is exactly why I don't let people in usually. Because they leave. They change. They move on. I have very few and selected friends I actually have let in. Thank the Lord they have not left...yet. I used to be a very being optimist. But alot of things happened in my life and my trust in people was betrayed by someone who should never betray trust. Now I have hired a contractor to build a 6 foot wall with elctric fencing at the top and a moat with alligator, pirahna, and Nessie around my true self. Of course my parents know the real me (on side of them does). But I don't really show myself. Actually the weird thing is I show myself in this blog. But I try so hard to keep some people happy. Others of course I don't care and probably never will, but I just don't show it. And I always tell people be yourself and yet I'm a hypocrite because I'm not myself. Do you understand how complicated I am. I woke up last night at 1 and though I should get water.....then I started thinking about all of this. Which is not good at 1 in the morning because I can't think clearly and I imagine the worst. And I thought about how I absolutely love when the sky has so many clouds that you can't tell whether the gray part is cloud or sky and whether the dark blue part is cloud or sky.